HairClub Defends the Stimulus

Awesome bit on the news today.  First off, Biden didn’t know the “website number” to his own web site.  Whatever, he’s a tool and we don’t expect him tobe FaceTube savvy like the kids these days.  The better bit is when Biden responds to a woman who owns a small business but had to lay off employees earlier this year:

BUSINESS OWNER: What I’m looking for are really clear details about how the stimulus package is going to help small businesses…

HAIRCLUB: I would recommend that woman call my office direct and I will be able to guide her as to how what pieces of this package would be directly helpful to her.  For example it may very well be that she’s in a circumstance where she is not able–her customers aren’t able–to get to her, there’s no transit capability, the bridge going across the creek to get to her business needs repair.  It may very well be that she’s in a position where she’s unable to access…her energy costs are so high…by providing smart meters…by being able to bring down the cost of her workforce…excuse me the cost of doing business.

OK, so this is the guy Marie has put in charge of administering the $800 billion stimulus package.  He gets a question from a small business owner about how this will help her.  He should be Johnny-on-the-spot with answers.  But he responds with this bumbling, meandering nonsense.  His answer to how the stimulus is going to help her small business:  She probably set up her business in a place where no customers can get to her.  There probably aren’t buses running.  The bridge over the creek probably washed out and nobody can get there.  That’s why she had to lay people off.  He’s going to fix that bridge.  Also, her energy costs are high so he’s going to install a “smart” meter so that she knows how much energy she’s using.  This will prevent layoffs.  In other words, he thinks she’s a fucking idiot and the reason she’s failing is because “it may very well be” that there’s no way customers can access her business and she’s using too much electricity. 

Why does he assume that she’s set up her business in a completely isolated backwater only accessible by a single, federally-maintained bridge?  I’d venture a guess that a slim majority of small business aren’t struggling because their bridges washed out.  But let’s pretend that’s the case:  why are there federally-maintained bridges providing access to thousands of completely isolated Deliverance villages?  If there’s a valuable location or resource on the other side of that bridge, wouldn’t it be in the interest of the local town, state, or even *gasp* private owners to maintain that bridge during the breaks between banjo duels?  If it’s important enough to get there, somebody will build a goddamned bridge, and it doesn’t have to be Joe Fucking Biden in Washington, D.C.

This guy is a buffoon.  The truth is that there’s NOTHING in the stimulus that will help business in general.  No corporate tax cuts, no reduction of red tape or regulation.  In fact, it’s the opposite because whether she needs a goddamn bridge or not, we’re all going to have to pay over a trillion dollars for whatever bridge Biden thinks is important.  Her energy costs are going to continue to go up (since Biden hates coal), so she needs to figure out a way to monitor her energy usage better.  She’s going to have to buy different light bulbs and such.  That will stimulate things.

Again, THIS IS THE GUY IN CHARGE.